FRIENDCEPTION

How on earth, did I let myself get into this! Why am I giving this speech! What the Heck! (Pardon my French) *crying inside*. Reality is slowly dawning on me. Am I truly giving a speech at Megan’s wedding ceremony? 

By the way Megan is the girl I have crushed on since I was seven years old. I remember vividly the first day at French lessons. She was the smart one, and I was the class jester. I was always making a fool of myself just to put a smile on her face. We got along so well, we were like bread and butter, she was the bread and I was the butter, little did I know she would later get married to “Peanut butter”. I remember our teachers were always teasing, saying we would end up together and all she would reply was, “No! He is more like a brother to me”. Yes I was put in the friend zone even before my voice cracked.

I remember clearly the first guy she ever had a crush on, gosh! how could I forget, she kept me up all night telling me about him, and even asking me about my opinion and approval of him. Well I said he wasn't good enough for her (#don’t judge me). As my luck would have it two weeks later they started dating and I was introduce to him as her besty (best friend).  I even got to choose her prom dress and had the honour of seeing it first. How beautiful she looked, how i wish she even knew how much I liked her. But NO way!!  Why you might ask? Because I was Friend zoned. And just so you know, Yes!! I was kept in the friend zone all through my teenage years.

*Fast forward to when I was twenty*, I got taller and more handsome (if I might say so myself). This is where it gets interesting. The straw which broke the camel’s back, came when she called me from class and begged me to go lingerie shopping with her, so she could get her boyfriend something special. I honestly couldn't take it anymore, so I did something drastic. I cut her off completely and focused on my girlfriend who for some magical reason had a striking resemblance to Megan (#once again don’t judge me).

I tried so hard to get her to notice my every move, changed my Facebook profile picture to one with  my new girlfriend and I, changed my twitter handle to my Girlfriends name.  All these I did just to get her jealous. Although it worked, although she came back saying she had missed me and would like us to meet up again and carrying on from where we had left. O Little did I know she was planning to take me deeper in the friend zone, into “Friendception”. By the way Friendception is the stage whereby you are so deep in the friend zone everything you do only takes you deeper and deeper.

Back to the story, I was so happy that I had finally broken out of the Friend Zone. I was finally going to be with my dream girl. We went out on dates and for once she slept over at mine(nothing happened *Just imagine*) She then invited me over to her place, made me meet her mum and dad, it was all going well until her mum said those words “You guys are perfect for each other” and  Meagan’s reply literally sent my world crashing, I can remember her reply  so clearly “ I wish the guy I finally end up with would be exactly like  my besty(who unfortunately was yours truly "Moi") Mummy”  I became dazed, shocked, cold and hot at the same time. Not long after that she got engaged and as though that was not enough , She begged me to give a speech at her wedding.

Now, you know why I am standing here giving this speech.  I really want to do what Jesus would do!! give a good speech, then walk away and leave her to live happily ever after. Or better yet I think I might just make this story my Toast*Evil grin*

*Stay tuned for what happened after the awkward moment when I narrated  my story.  Telling the bride how I  have had a crush on her all my life in front of  her groom and everyone in the wedding*

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